I've been working on my recovery program, and I had to write down the worst thing that could possibly happen. And I realized, it wasn't all that bad.
And how I would react to the worst that could happen. and I realized, If someone I was sitting next to on the airplane threw up, I could move. I'd ask the flight attendant for help. It doesn't have to be a big deal. I'm not going to have a heart attack. (at least not from a panic attack- I do need to lower my cholesterol though...) The panic can't hurt me, and eventually it ends. I have to redirect my focus and move on.
Besides, I can count on one hand the number of times anyone has thrown up near me on an airplane. Twice. (well, Alex puked a couple times, but he did it in the bag every time.) And that was when I was 17. That was 5 years ago. And I've only been sick on an airplane once. When I was 7. so that's 15 years ago. It's time to move on from those.
Thinking about real situations is making me anxious. I'm not cured yet. So I'm going to stop blogging and do my visualizations. Good night.