Tuesday, March 10, 2009

prayer

i don't really know what the point of this blog is. i mainly made it to keep up with the people i'm praying for. really if you want to get specific, it's little faith hope's fault. i joined her facebook prayer group which led me to her blog. from there i found other families expecting children with the same condition. Emma, Noah and Seth. and so i had to pray for them too. on Emma's blog i found a link to Angie, who's story captivated and inspired me. She has posted many prayer requests and links to more blogs and i always follow the links because i want to know what or who to pray for. and i got involved. emotionally involved. i found MckMama from Angie and again, she posts prayer requests. same deal. i follow the links and get emotionally involved. if i am following your blog it is because i am praying and hoping with you. your story touched my heart. 

in a book that i love, A Ring of Endless Light by Madeline L'Engle, Vicky asks her grandfather how to pray for someone. He replies, "I simply take him into my heart, and then put him into God's hand." i could go on and on about this book and Vicky's struggle with faith and prayer, segue into my own feelings and struggles with prayer. specifically how i try not to impose my own will onto God. my roommate and i were talking about Faith Hope and how i was praying for God's will to be done and she was praying that Faith be healed completely. Now, i do want Faith to be healed completely, don't get me wrong, but i don't like to tell God how to do things. How can i possibly know what's best? but i am awestruck and amazed that Faith is 19 days old. and she sat up at 5 days (go watch the video it will blow your mind!). she smiles. that is truly God's work and i am so grateful he is giving this young mother this time with her little girl. and everyday i pray that she can keep that sweet little girl longer. Angie said something in her blog about how we don't praise God because he fixes everything, but because He CAN. that make sense to me. because i know that my prayers are not always answered in the way that i want them to be. but i also know that God has a plan. and i don't know what it is. but i can only assume that He knows what He's doing and i don't. thats hard for me to accept sometimes because i am SUCH a control freak. i want things done my way, on my terms. and that doesn't always happen.
again in A Ring of Endless Light, Vicky's younger sister, Suzy, rants and is asking why pray? grandfather is still dying, people are still hurting, why pray? 
"Prayer was never meant to be magic,' Mother said.
'Then why bother with it?' Suzy scowled.
'Because it is an act of love,' Mother said."

an act of love where you are taking someone into your heart and putting them into God's hand. That is prayer. 

And i am praying for you. 

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